谁能帮我看下我写的英语作文，看看有没有错误，谢谢 What the drawing refle

Question

谁能帮我看下我写的英语作文，看看有没有错误，谢谢

What the drawing reflects is the phenomenon that some people are irresponsible for their parents.With the development of the economy,people's life become more comfortable and convenient.However,the lack of responsibility of some people still exists.It is really a shame that youngsters pay much attention to the happiness of themself because without their parents they couldn't be what they have became.Nobody can imagine a nation that each person ignore their responsibility to support parents.
Fortunately,this phenomenon has caused the attention of the government,which is moving to head off this social issue.From my point of view,to solve this burning problem,it is high time that we enhanced the awareness of the importance of supporting parents.Meanwhile,more educational campains should be initiated to publicize the traditional vitue.Only in this way can our society become more harmonious to live in.

Answer 1

of some people这个删去吧，不然语法不太对 because without their parents they couldn't be what they have became became 语法上 应为become但此句翻译不同，你最好重新换个句子 ignore 加s responsibility to support 应为forsupporting caused the attention最好为attract attention enhanced the consiousness或 increase the awarenese initiated最好改为launched追问

特别感谢你的用心检阅，请接受我最真心的谢意！

还有有人说people's life become 要改成becomes对吗？

追答

恩，是的，三单要加s

追问

好的。收益匪浅，特别感谢！看一篇这种作文应该蛮费神吧？

Answer 2

It is really a shame that youngsters pay much attention to the happiness of themself because without their parents they couldn't be what they have became.
前后句之间没有因果关系。追问

哦哦。知道了，虽然不能选你为最佳，不过还是要道个谢你！3q！

Answer 3

2nd row:convenient - more convenient
4th row: themself - themselves,became - become
Otherwise there is no mistake.追问

好的，懂了。你英语很不错！可惜只能选一个最佳。还是谢谢你！

Answer 4

语法上没什么错误，但我对这句有异议追问

嗯。我得拆开成两句。不能选你为最佳表示抱歉，谢谢你的用心！

Answer 5

people's life become(s)?追问

抱歉不能选你为最佳。还是很感谢！