My view on artificial intelligence
Admittedly，with the rapid development of contemporary technology，artificial intelligence is of great significance for Improve human quality of life.such as medical science, physics and entertainment. On the other hand, we should also see his disadvantage.The following solutions can account for this phenomenon.
First and foremost,there is no doubt that artificial intelligence can make our work facilitate .Base on a most recent ,it is a revealed that a majority of successful social elites admitted that AI help they finish work faster.
Furthermore,it is obvious that AI can aid you to management a wide range of domestic appliances .Therefore,let’s learn how to use it from now on.
Last but not least,no one can deny that AI also has negative side.Many people have lost their jobs because of Al.Where there is Al,there is a cheap work force.
in summary，the whole society should pay close attention to AI.Only this way,the future of our life will be both promising and rosy.
Admittedly，with the rapid development of contemporary technology，artificial intelligence is of great significance for Improve human quality of life.
这一句我觉得后面是“of great significance to improve human quality of life”，这里应用to，对于提高人类生活质量非常重要，of great significance其实就相当于形容词。
medical science, physics and entertainment
这里只是举例了人工智能应用的方面。但你没有用观点和详细例子说明人工智能的优势在哪里。
Admittedly，with the rapid development of contemporary technology，artificial intelligence is of great significance for Improve human quality of life. Artificial intelligence is widely applied in medical science, physics and entertainment.（.....）
我建议你改成“人工智能被广泛应用于医药科学，物理学和娱乐方面”。然后后面省略号的位置你应该说明人工智能的优势是什么。比如，你可以说Generally, artificial intelligence has advantages.接着就举出它的优势是什么，可以举例说明。
说完优势，就说劣势“On the other hand, we should also see its disadvantages.”（注意人工智能应用it代替，不要用物主代词his）
The following solutions can account for this phenomenon.
First and foremost,there is no doubt that artificial intelligence can make our work facilitate .Base on a most recent ,it is a revealed that a majority of successful social elites admitted that AI help they finish work faster.
The following....,这一句我不懂你想表达什么？既然前面你说我们也要看到它的劣势。你同样也要举例说明它的劣势是什么，而不是重新回到advantages这个点上。
应该分别说完人工智能的优势和劣势之后再进行总结。
我觉得你开头写得还不错，但是后面很混乱。
开头：写人工智能在社会的一个现象或情况
主体：可以先表达自己对于人工智能的观点，你支持还是反对（ps. 如果是议论文最好这样写啦），然后写优势和劣势。
结尾：写完主题内容，就总结啦（可以先写自己的观点，但如果前面已经写了，就不用写啦），可以表达利大于弊或弊大于利。交代一下你对人工智能未来前景的期待也可以。
这样写逻辑就非常清晰啦。我觉得你用词还是挺不错的，但不要只注重套模板哦，要注意文章的逻辑性。
最后如果你认同我的观点，希望你能采纳我的回答。♪(^∇^*)