TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow."
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，你为什么每天上学都迟到呢？
汤姆：每次我路过拐角的时候，一个路标上写着：“学校——慢行”
A GREAT MAN
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名伟人
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well,Tom,I asked to your teacher today,and now I want to ask you a question.Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know,father.
Father: Oh,yes,you do!Think!When other boys and girls are doing and writing,who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher,father.
谁最懒
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题．你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
Two roaches 两只蟑螂
Two roaches were munching on garbage in analley when one engages a discussion about a new
restaurant.'I was in that new restaurant across the
street,' said one. 'It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless,and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirtanywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole placeshines."Please, said the other roach frowning. 'Notwhile I'm eating!'
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
谁发现了澳大利亚?
老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼：先生，在这儿。
老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?
萨默：先生，是约翰尼。
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
翻译为：
问：猴子和跳蚤有什么区别？
答：猴子可以有跳蚤，但跳蚤不能有猴子。本回答被网友采纳