小升初,要去XX中学面试.准备了篇英文自我介绍,英语好的哥们帮我看看,哪还需要修改?

Question

Hello,teachers!
I'm glad to meet you.My name is baoyishuang and English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I study in fuwai No.1 Primary school.(这句话对了么？他们说要用am studying）
I have many hobbies,swimming、drawing、doing math problem and so on.But my favourite hobbies is doing math problem.Because doing math problem is a interesting thing.I want to be a mathematician in fufure.
I hope I can go to the XXX middle school and become a XXX middle school's student.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.
我是个6年级学生，写得肯定有好多语法错误，请懂英文的帮我指出来，毕竟着很重要，不要笑话我～～～也不要误导我哈～
Hello,teachers!
I'm glad to meet you.My name is baoyishuang and my English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I am studying in fuwai No.1 Primary school.
I’m interested in many subjects,such as English、PE、math and so on.Among them, Math is my favourite subject,because it is very interesting.I often do more Math prombles at home.By the way ,I want to be a mathematician in the future.
I hope I can go to the XXX middle school and become one student of XXX middle school.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.
这是我后来改的,看看又没又错,我把分给了.

Answer 1

Hello,EVERYONE!
I'm glad to meet you.My name is baoyishuang and MY English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I am studying in fuwai No.1 Primary school.
I have many hobbies,swimming、drawing、doing math problemS and so on.But my favourite hobbY is WOKING ON math problemS.Because WOKING ON math problem is VERY interesting.I want to be a mathematician in fufure.
I hope I can become ONE OF XXX middle school's studentS.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.
稍微帮你改了一下,大写的~~
Hello,teachers!
I'm glad to meet you.My name is baoyishuang and my English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I am studying in fuwai No.1 Primary school.
I’m interested in many subjects,such as English,PE,math(and so on删掉).Among them, Math is my favourite subject,because it is very interesting.I often do MANY Math prombles at home.By the way ,I want to be a mathematician in the future.
I hope I can go to the XXX middle school and become one student of XXX middle school.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.
又改了,基本没错了!

Answer 2

帮你改的地方用大写哈！
Hello,EVERY TEACHERS;
I'm glad to meet you.My name is baoyishuang and English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I study in fuwai No.1 Primary school.I have many hobbies,swimming、drawing、doing math problem and so on.But my FAVO(记得别多打一个u哦，英语一定要细心点）RITE hobbies is doing math problem.Because doing math problem is AN（元音字母开头的单词前应是an而不是a) interesting thing.I want to be a mathematician in fufure.
I hope I can go to the XXX middle school and become a XXX middle school's student.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.
就这些了，希望你能成功，记得在外语方面不断加强，比起我的六年级，你已经非常不错了！

Answer 3

Hi,everybody!(如果面试里的老师有外教的话最好把hello改成Hi,在国外打招呼基本都用Hi跟Hey)
Glad to meet you.(这样地道简洁点)My name is baoyishuang and my English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I am studying in fuwai No.1 Primary school.
I’m interested in many subjects,such as English、PE、math and so on.Among them, Math is my favourite subject,because I think(逻辑上貌似更通点) it is very interesting.I often do many extra (我觉得做许多额外的数学练习比做更多数学问题好,还是显得地道点呵,而且表示是课外的练习) Maths exercises(是不想表达数学问题?problem不太这么用的) at home.
(By the way 显得累赘)I want to be a mathematician in the future.
I hope I can be a student of XXX middle school.
That's all. (这样听着会简洁)
Thank you.(还是用Thank you 吧呵).

P.S. Come on!

Answer 4

Dear teachers :
Good morning(或者afternoon).It's my pleasure to meet you. My chinese name is Bao Yishuang and my English name is Peter.I'm 12 years old.I study in fuwai No.1 Primary school.(这句话是对的）I have many hobbies like swimming、drawing、math and so on.And math is my favourite .Because math is an(用an而不是a） interesting thing.I want to be a mathematician in the（加冠词）future（future才是未来的拼法）.
I hope I can go to the XXX middle school and become a XXX middle school's student.
That's all.
Thanks a lot.

Answer 5

I study 就可以了

...hobbies, such as swimming,drawing,math and so on. Among them （其中）, math is my favourite because it is very interesting. By the way, I want to be a mathematician in the future.
I hope I can go to XXX Middle School and become a student there.（这样说省的重复） I hope I can learn more and better in the Middle School and get well prepared for becoming a future mathematician. (为将来做一名数学家做好准备)

Thank you very much!

这样就差不多了，面试的时候表现出真实的自己就行啦！小朋友加油哦！！