英语高手进!!

OUR NEW YEAR
First, we clean our house and sweep away had luck. Then, we paint doors and windows red. It means good luck. We usually decorate the doors and windows with paper cuts. We buy some new clothes. On New Year's Day, we put on new clothes and visit our family and friends. The family have dinner and we eat Jiaozi -- a kind of dumpling, or a sweet rice pudding. At midnight, there are usually fireworks.

OUR PLANS IN NEW YEAR
In my family, everyone has a New Year's plan. My father is going to find a good job and make more money. My mother is going to work hard and look after our family well. My brother and my sister are going to study hard and get good results, and go to a good university. I am going to get good results, too. And I am going to Disneyland. We are going to go to the Great Wall.

I AM A GUIDE
Hello! Welcome to Nanning. Nanning is famous for green trees, so it is called Green City. This is a beautiful city. In Nanning the hills are all green and the water is all clear. It has 4 million people. There are lots of skyscrapers in Nanning. So, we like Nanning best.

HOW TO GET A GOOD MARK
Hi, Jack,
Nice to hear from you. You got a bad mark in Chinese. I am going to give you some advice. You should do more practice for maths. Why don't you go to library to read some books about history and Chinese. How about listening to the radio, reading newspaper and watching Chinese films in English. You should have a notebook and write the new works down and read them every day. Try to speak more Chinese in your class.
Good luck!
Yours,
Philip

A POSTCARD
Dear Mum,
Greetings from London!
How are you? We are enjoying the school trip. Some people are swimming. Some people are shopping now. At the moment, my friend is listening to music. I am taking photos and eating ice cream. My another friend is visiting the zoo. Some people are watching ballet now. Most people are playing football and playing basketball. See you soon.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR THE GREEEN OLYMPICS?
Beijing will hold the 29th Olympics Games. It will be Green Olympics. As students, we must do something for the Green Olympics. We mustn't throw the rubbish away. We can't draw pitures on the wall. We want to plant more flowers and trees in our country. I think our country will become cleaner and more beautiful than any other country. Many foreign visitors will come to Beijing Olympics Games. I love Beijing. I love China.

MY SCHOOL DAY
I go to school at seven o'clock. I have breakfast at half past seven. Lessons start at eight o'clock. We have Chinese, English, History and Maths. I have lunch at five past twelve. I often play football in the afternoon. I have dinner at half past six. In the evening, I do my homework at eight o'clock. I go to bed at ten o'clock.
拜托各位英语高手帮小弟批改上面的作文...!
按找出1个错误在30分的基础上再加2分来算(10个错误起加)~`!!

OUR NEW YEAR
First, we clean our house and sweep away had[换成bad] luck. Then, we paint doors and windows red. It means good luck. We usually decorate the doors and windows with paper cuts. We buy some new clothes. On New Year's Day, we put on new clothes and visit our family and friends. The family[这里family 表示家人,应该用复数 families] have dinner and we eat Jiaozi -- a kind of dumpling, or a sweet rice pudding. At midnight, there are usually fireworks[这一句不完整,可以换成 we usually let off fireworks, 当然换别的句子也可以].

OUR PLANS IN NEW YEAR
In my family, everyone has a New Year's plan. My father is going to find a good job and make more money. My mother is going to work hard and look after our family well. My brother and my sister are going to study hard and get good results, and go to a good university[他门只会努力的做这件事, 换成 and study harder to enter a good university 语气上更贴切一些 ]. I am going to get good results, too. And I am going to Disneyland. We are going to go to the Great Wall.
这几个句子,读起来太重复了,虽然语法没错,但是都是 be going to,显得单调
可以稍微换几个, 比如最后两句换成 I will surely fulfill my target too, And I shall go to Disneyland for a trip. We also want to travel the Great Wall, because it is a very important scenery, which is full of symbolic sense of china. 最后两句换成这个也可以
I AM A GUIDE
Hello! Welcome to Nanning. Nanning is famous for [这里要加一个 its]green trees, so it is called Green City. This is a beautiful city. In Nanning the hills are all green and the water is all clear. It has 4 million people. There are lots of skyscrapers in Nanning. So, we like Nanning best.

HOW TO GET A GOOD MARK
Hi, Jack,
Nice to hear from you. You got a bad mark in Chinese[这里要用China]. I am going to give you some advice[这里要用复数advices]. You should do more practice for maths[这里是中国化英文了,你可以说You should practise maths problems more 更规范一些, 你的那个句子语法勉强拼的上,但外国人很少这样用]. Why don't you go to library to read some books about history and Chinese. How about listening to the radio, reading newspaper and watching Chinese films in English [这句你想表达什么? 你想说 Chinese films with English subtitles 带着英文字幕的中文电影是么? 换一下]. You should have[这里用 take] a notebook and write the new works down and read them every day. Try to speak more Chinese in your class.
Good luck!
Yours,
Philip

A POSTCARD
Dear Mum,
Greetings from London!
How are you? We are enjoying the school trip. Some people are swimming. Some people are shopping now. At the moment, my friend is listening to music. I am taking photos and eating ice cream. My another friend[应该用 Another friend of mine] is visiting the zoo. Some people are watching ballet now. Most people are playing football and playing basketball. See you soon.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR THE GREEEN [打字错误,这里是GREEN ]OLYMPICS?
Beijing will hold the 29th Olympics Games. It will be Green Olympics. As students, we must do something for the Green Olympics. We mustn't throw the rubbish away. We can't draw pitures[打字错误,这里是pictures] on the wall. We want to[这里用should 比较贴切] plant more flowers and trees in our country. I think our country will become cleaner and more beautiful than any other country. Many foreign visitors will come to Beijing Olympics Games. I love Beijing. I love China.

MY SCHOOL DAY
I go to school at seven o'clock. I have breakfast at half past seven. Lessons start at eight o'clock. We have Chinese, English, History and Maths. I have lunch at five past twelve. I often play football in the afternoon. I have dinner at half past six. In the evening, I do my homework at eight o'clock. I go to bed at ten o'clock.

你的英文还不错
温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考
第1个回答  2009-03-14
我们的新年
首先,我们清理我们的房子和扫除了好运。然后,我们油漆门窗红色。这意味着好运。我们通常装饰门窗与剪纸。我们买些新衣服。关于元旦,我们把新衣服,请访问我们的家人和朋友。家庭共进晚餐,我们吃饺子-一种饺子,或甜米饭布丁。午夜十二时,通常有烟花。

我们计划在新年
在我的家庭,每个人都有的新年计划。我父亲是要找到一份好工作和赚更多的钱。我母亲要继续努力,并期待在我们的家庭幸福。我的兄弟和我的妹妹要勤奋学习,取得好成绩,并进入一个很好的大学。我要取得好成绩了。和我去迪士尼乐园。我们将去长城。

我是指南
喂!欢迎来到南宁。南宁市是著名的绿树,因此被称为绿色城市。这是一个美丽的城市。在南宁的山丘都是绿色和水是明确的。它有4万人。有很多高楼大厦在南宁。因此,我们想南宁最佳。

如何获得良好的标志
嗨,杰克,
很高兴收到你的来信。你有坏标志着中。我要为你提供一些意见。你应该做更多的练习数学。你为什么不去图书馆阅读一些有关的历史书籍和中文。如何收听广播,阅读报纸,看中国电影的英文。您应该有一个笔记本电脑和写入新的作品,并阅读每天。努力的尝试说话更在您的类中。
祝您好运!
此致,
菲利普

明信片
亲爱的妈妈,
来自伦敦的问候!
您好吗?我们正享受着学校的行程。有些人在游泳。有些人现在购物。此时此刻,我的朋友是听音乐。我的照片和吃冰淇淋。我的另一位朋友正在访问动物园。有些人现在正在看芭蕾舞剧。大多数人都踢足球和打篮球。再见。

有什么事的GREEEN奥运会?
北京将举办第29届奥运会。这将是绿色奥运,科技奥运。作为学生,我们必须做一些对绿色奥运,科技奥运。我们绝不能扔的垃圾消失。我们不能pitures在墙上。我们希望更多的花卉植物和树木在我们的国家。我认为我们的国家将成为更清洁,更美丽的比其他任何国家。许多外国游客将来到北京奥运会。我爱北京。我爱中国。

我的学校日
我去学校七点钟。我的早餐在7时30 。经验教训出发,八点钟。我们有中文,英文,历史和数学。我共进午餐, 12时5分。我经常踢足球在下午进行。我晚餐, 6时30 。晚上,我做我的功课八点钟。我去睡觉了十点钟。

参考资料:错的是GREEEN

第2个回答  2009-03-01
1 had luck -------- bad luck
2 family 建议用 relatives
3 We are going to go to the Great Wall.---will go to 结构
4 Why don't you go to library to read some books about history and Chinese. -------- history 大写 History

大概看了一下

如果你想你的作文水平获得高分

不妨多用点不同的词,比如“好”---基本上用 good ,你可以考虑wonderful, great, excellent, splendid, brilliant等……

祝学习进步……本回答被提问者采纳
第3个回答  2009-03-01
hey, i tried till the Jack Part. 14 in total.

OUR NEW YEAR
First, we clean our house and sweep away bad luck. Then, we paint doors and windows red. It means good luck. We usually decorate the doors and windows with paper cuts. We buy some new clothes. On New Year's Eve, we put on new clothes and visit our family families and friends. The family families have dinner together and we eat Jiaozi -- a kind of dumpling, or a weet rice pudding. At midnight, there are usually fireworks.

OUR PLANS IN NEW YEAR
In my family, everyone has a New Year's plan. My father is going to find a good job and make more money. My mother is going to work harder and look after our family well. My brother and my sister are going to study hard and get good results, and go to a good university. I am going to get good results, too. And I am going to Disneyland. We are all going to go to the Great Wall this year.

I AM A GUIDE
Hello! Welcome to Nanning. Nanning is famous for green trees, so it is called Green City. This is a beautiful city. In Nanning the hills are all green and the water is all clear. It has There are 4 million people population. There are lots of skyscrapers in Nanning. So, we like Nanning best.

HOW TO GET A GOOD MARK
Hi, Jack,
Nice to hear from you. You got a bad mark in Chinese. I am going to give you some advice. You should do more practice for on Maths maths. Why don't you not go to library to read some books about history and Chinese?
第4个回答  2009-03-02
z
相似回答