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As a senior three student, I deeply feel (that studies in Senior 3)【what student in Senior 3 have to endure】 is not easy-not only should (revise)【review】all the knowlege you have learned again, but also get good (grades)【marks】 in the college entrance examination.
评价:一开篇就有语法错误,不该不该。扣分!内容上不错,开门见山表达论点
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(Under)【with】 the stress from society, parents and students themselves, students in Senior 3’s (mentality)【mental state】becomes a problem.
评价:你想说的是不是精神状态?我帮你查了一下
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In fact, I think (students) maintaining a positive altitude【attitude】is a key point on their ways to success.
评价:拼写错!扣分!
修改:maintaining 直接做动名词
(Mentality)【positive spirit】 can help them overcome quite a few difficulties.
评价:连同上句都是过渡,有逻辑性,棒!
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Adjusting state of mind is work that should be done by all senior three students.
评价:完全读不懂
修改:So I consider that all senior three students should learn to adjust psychology.
I think that relax a little in the rest of time while study deeply into knowledges such as going out for a walk, is a good way.
评价:乱
修改:I think gentle breeze which slip through your fingers and the kiss of the golden sun shine are best ways to relax yourselves after annoying heavy task.
What’s more, do not take too much care of grades.
评价:我不知道有没有这用法。。。
修改:When it comes to grades, I hope that you can have the courage to say "It's my best work, and I don't care about the result."
Don’t feel regretful if only we try.
评价:完美
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The best and happiest thing in senior three come【s】 from struggling and keeping busy, so don’t add to【too】 much stress to yourself.
评价:中规中矩
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In terms of schools, I think they are not supposed to attach great importance to enrollment rate.
评价:。。。假话
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Students in senior high still need space and environment of freedom.
评价:。。。真话
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It’s supposed to put students【’】 mental health ahead of enrollment rate.
评价:基本正确
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Encourage them to take enough activities to enrich study life in senior three.
评价:算了吧
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School’s (value)【correct】 guidance is very important for students’ development.
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修改:建议用The correct guidence of school. 毕竟强调的是指导
Hope that schools can promote students’ all round develpment with relaxed smile.
评价:基本正确
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【新段】
Above are my suggestions.
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They are for reference only.
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I hope heartily that students live happily and success in the college entrance examination!
评价:结尾简单朴实。建议扩充
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