有没有英语的带中文的1分钟左右的小笑话

Question

麻烦大家一下啦！本人要参加北京市的一个比赛，出於无奈，才向大家求助！
请大家给我一个英语滴，带中文滴，差不多1分钟滴（一分20多秒也可以）英语小笑话、英语小诗歌、英语绕口令、英语小故事一类的给我一个（任选一项，当然啦如果都给我的话那是最好不过的了分会提高的）但是不要抄袭BaiDu上的、SoSo上的呀！难度在小学6年级就差不多了，不要太简单也不要太难啦！麻烦大家了！
非原创的，不会给高分！

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Answer 1

Like Father ,Like Son (有其父必有其子)
One day ,Mr.Read found a litter boy in his apple tree.He got very
angry and shouted ,"Hey,get down at once ,or I'll have a word with your father !"
But the boy ,without stopping eating the apple ,raised his head towards the branches above and said ."Dad ,get down .A guy under the tree wants to have a word with you!"
有其父必有其子
一天，瑞德先生看见一个小男孩在他家苹果树上，他很生气就对那个男孩大喊：“，嘿！你给我立马滚下来，否则我就告诉你爸爸去！”
但是，男孩还不停的吃着苹果，抬头朝这上面树枝上的父亲说道：“爸爸，你下来，树下有个家伙想和你谈一谈！”
1.猴子捞月
One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.
一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts:
它往井里一瞧，高喊道：
"Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!"
“噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！”
An older monkey runs over, takes a look, and says:
一只大猴子跑来一看，说，
"My goodness! The moon is really in the water!"
“糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！”
An oldest monkey comes over.
老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
他也非常惊奇，喊道：
"The moon is in the well."
“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！”
A group of monkeys run over to the well.
一群猴子跑到井边来，
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：
"The moon did fall into the well! Come on! Let's get it out!"
“月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！”
Then, the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down, with his feet on the branch,
然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，
and he pulls the next monkey's feet with his hands.
拉住大猴子的脚。
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
其他的猴子一个个跟着，
and they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon, the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky.
正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢。
He yells excitedly: "Don't be so foolish! The moon is still in the sky!"
它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”

2.生金蛋的鹅The goose with the golden eggs
One morning a countryman went to his goose's nest, and saw a yellow and glittering egg there.
He took the egg home. To his delight, he found that it was an egg of pure gold.
Every morning the same thing occurred, and he soon became rich by selling his eggs.
The countryman became more and more greedy. He wanted to get all the gold at once, so he killed the goose, when he looked inside, he found nothing in its body.

一天早晨，一位农夫发现自家的鹅窝中有一只金灿灿的蛋。
他将蛋带回家，惊喜地发现这是一个金蛋。
此后，农夫每天都能得到一个金蛋。从此，他靠卖他的金蛋变得富有起来。
农夫变得越来越贪婪，他想一下子得到鹅肚子中所有的金蛋。于是他杀死了鹅，但是，鹅肚子中什么也没有。
寓意: 如果不懂得知足，贪得无厌，我们就会失去已经拥有的东西。

3.老狮子与狐狸 The lion and the fox
The lion once said that he was sick on his death bed.
So he asked all the animals to come and listen to his last wishes.
The goat came to the lion’s cave. He stood there and listened for a long time.
Then a sheep went in. Before she came out, a rabbit entered to hear the last wishes of the king of beasts.
But soon the lion seemed to recover, and went to the mouth of his cave.
He saw a fox waiting outside. "Why don’t you come in?" asked the lion to the fox.
"I beg Your Majesty’s pardon," said the fox, "I have seen many animals enter your cave, but none of them come out.
Till they come out again, I prefer to wait outside."

一头年老的狮子声称自己病得要死了，他告诉所有的动物来听他的临终遗言。
一只山羊进入狮子的洞穴，并一直留在那里，接着一只绵羊也进去了。之前，一只兔子也曾进去听这兽中之王的临终遗言。
但是不久，狮子好像康复了，能走到洞口了，他看到狐狸站在洞口，就问：“你为什么不进来呢？”
“尊敬的殿下，”狐狸回答说，“如果我没发现只有进去的脚印，没有一个出来的脚印，我也许会进洞去。”

Answer 2

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

英语笑话（一）

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话（二）

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话（三）

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员，

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

Answer 3

It was the first day of school.
The leader heard so much noise from one of the classrooms.He ran into one of the classroom and find a boy who is the tallest in the class."Come to my room and don't leave until I leave."he said angrily.
As he went back to the class room,he taught the importance of keeping cilent in the classroom for nearly an hour.
"So,any questions?"He said .One of the girl stood up and said"Please,sir,may I have our teacher back?"
开学第一天。
校长听见一个教室里有很大动静，于是冲进教室，发现有一个比别人都高的男孩。“到我的办公室来，在我离开前不许走！”他生气地说。当他回到教室后，他向全班同学讲了关于保持课堂纪律的重要性，足足有一个小时。
“还有什么问题吗”他说。一个女孩站起来说：“先生，你可以让我们的校长回来了吗？”

Answer 4

Said that an alcoholic, a drink to go home, home, want to urinate on the toilet, the lights in front of a sliding door inside, and after he finished bathroom praise from a wife: "a wife you really able to fix the bathroom light , a bright open it, you're OK He He... "
"Bang, popping, popping..." Several more. . .
Hears wife said: "I told you how many times, and not allowed to go to the refrigerator pee ah..." 翻译 说，一个酒鬼，一喝回家，回家，要上厕所小便，在一个滑动门前灯里面，他说完后，妻子从浴室称赞：“太太你真的能够解决浴室光，光明打开它，你就行赫嗬...“
只听“弹出，弹出...”几个。 。 。
听到妻子说：“我告诉你多少次，而不是可以到冰箱里撒尿啊...”

Answer 5

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”